remind me of someone...

As if, My lifeless body one of the dark water. Torturing was`t my doubt. Desperation, horror, and hope struggled for love and dominance on my face. As the moment stretched out, my expression slowly change from grief-numbed bewilderment to uneasiness. Time caught for a moment. Appearances can be deceiving. The fear and hatred started when the líes came upon me. Once i told myself, breathe hard, sit back and relax. It failed i admit. I was out of my mind, irrational but that little flash of memory wouldnt go away. Particulary i love ‘somebody’. Frankly my dear, i dont give a damn what anyone think of me. I`m trying very hard not to have hysterics, i thought writing might help. Something normal, something familiar. Except that nothing in my life is normal anymore. I guess i`ll get used to it faster if i throw my old life away and embrace the new one. Oh God, i`m frightened. What have i accomplished?? Studies?? Social issues?? Parenting?? Oh what… whatever`s going to happen, i dont think anyone can stop it. i dont know if i can either. I didnt care if the entire population of David Bechkam dropped dead.. but it bugs me a little, i mean its not like i`m totally incompetent. I know i`m not that smart as the others, and i`m certainly not as good at sport nor as cool under pressure, but I`M NOT A TOTAL DWEEB. I`m good for something..LOVE KILLS..